This is my little Ashy. I love her so much words could never describe. Last night she told me, "Mom, if I had half a penny every time you made me happy when I was sad I would be a gazzillionaire." Made my heart melt. She is such a special little girl. She's so patient with her brothers. She reads to them, pours them cereal every morning, helps get them dressed. She calls Ty her baby. Her brothers love her so much. What did I ever do to be blessed with such a sweet little princess? She makes my day so much brighter. I love you Ashy so much! -Your Mama

It's Jimmer Time

That my friends is #32 Jimmer Fredette. Remember the name, He's phenomenal.

We went to the game last night to see The Cougs slaughter #9 ranked and undefeated San Diego State! That was by far the funnest game EVER. So intense. We arrived at the Marriott Center 45 minutes early and it was so packed. You could barely walk the halls. It was out of control!

Katie and Angie ready to be Jimmered!

Best $8 ever! We had so much fun! We had a little bet. Joe said that if Jimmer scored 40 points He would take us all out for ice cream! Soo... 43 points later...!! BYU won 71 to 58!!! San Diego State is undefeated no more!!!

This is the scene of the court at the end of the game.

This lady was so cute I had to take a picture of her!

And them too!! haha! That will be me in 30 years!

Bringing out the Cougs! This game was so hyped up and super charged. I don't think I breathed for 3 hours! haha! But really.

Cougs win!!! Oh! The signs! haha! There were so many awesome t-shirts and signs I have to share! From "It's Jimmer Time," to "Jimmer protects this house," to "Marry me Jimmer," my personal favorite, "I shimmer for Jimmer!" haha! Of course there were quotes all over the radio like, "Super man wears a Jimmer Fredette jersey to bed," or "Chuck Norris has a Fredette Jersey above his bed." haha! Needless to say, I am a Jimmer Fan! Can't wait to watch the rest of the season! Go cougs!

15 weeks

It's been 15 weeks since my miscarriage. 15. Why do I still hurt? Why can't I move on? I'm sick of this! Is it really so bad that I yearn to wake up to find a belly, morning sickness, my horrible pregnant skin, charlie horses and stretch marks? Everyone keeps asking me when we are going to try again. Are we trying again? Do I want more kids? How am I? I DON'T KNOW!! I don't know if I want another baby now. I want THAT baby!!!! I want to BE 25 weeks pregnant NOW! I want to be HUGE on Mother's Day. I want to have a little baby on my hip this summer! I don't want to feel empty. I don't want to start over! I want my baby!!!

We moved Tyson out of the nursery and into Ethan's room so they can share. They loved it. They were so happy to be new roommates. But for me, I was once again reminded that the nursery isn't going to have a new arrival anytime soon. It was empty, like I was. Ashy started crying about how it wasn't fair that Ethan gets a new roommate. She wants a little sister to share her stuff with and yet, she can't have one. I feel so bad that I can't give her what she really wants. Life isn't fair.
And so we decided to change the nursery into a craft room for me & Ashton. Which is great. I love having a room for my craftiness to come out. And yet, when the house is quiet and I'm in that room I lose it. It just does not feel right to me. That room was suppossed to be getting ready for my baby and it's not.
I think about trying again to have another baby and I am so scared. My miscarriage has changed me. I feel like I'm not the same person I was 15 weeks ago. I'm damaged. So, would this new person that I am be able to handle getting pregnant? I miss the old me. I miss that person for myself, for my kids and for my sweet husband who deserves better than this damaged woman. Will I ever find the old me again?

Arthur Luther King Day

Ethan came home from school on Friday to tell me all about this man named Arthur Luther King. He knew so much about him I was so proud of him for listening and learning about him. He messed up on his name but that's not what matters, it matters that he learned from him.

Here are some of my favorite quotes from Martin Luther King:

-Take the first step in faith. You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the step.

-I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear.

-The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and comvenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.

-That old law about 'an eye for an eye' leaves everybody blind.

-The time is always right to do the right thing.

-We may have all come from different ships, but we are all in the same boat now.


We had a great family day together since there was no school. We let the kids pick a place... of course Chuck E Cheese!

What a very special day. I love my little family so much!

Happy Birthday Katie Lou!

My cute niece had a birthday!

The big 15! Only one year left before this crazy lady is driving!!! AAH!!!

Love you so much Katie Kate!

I Heart my Cricut

Gregory got me lots of new cricut cartridges for Christmas and I've been playing!!! Now I'm addicted. I made some fun Valentine's stuff since my house was so sad without our Christmas decorations (sniff sniff). Welcome the Month of Love!

I'm turning into a craftaholic. It's addicting! Gotta go make something now! Cya!

The kids got a wii for christmas and they have definately broken it in. They love it! It's such a fun new way for the family to play together! The boys were playing Michael Jackson, the Experience and I just had to video them cuz they were so stinkin' cute. Sorry about Tyson's nudeness. We are potty training him this week so He runs around solely in his underwear or pullup.